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DR. LYN's PRACTICE BUILDING TIPS FOR COACHES & THERAPISTS

Volume 256 August 2026 GROW Training Institute, Inc.
Email feedback and questions to growpublications@yahoo.com


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Dear Colleagues,

       I hope your practices are thriving!  This month’s newsletter is about how to be compassionate and detached at the same time.  It's called "detached concern," and is probably the MOST IMPORTANT skill therapists and coaches need to learn.  And one of the MOST important skills they can teach their clients.  It's all about SELF-PROTECTION.  So this month we're offering a 50% discount on our popular course "Coaching for Detachment & Letting Go" a 10 C.E. Contact Hour Course!  See details and ordering HERE.

          I wish you a happy, healthy, and abundant summer and practice!

        Lyn

     P.S.   If you haven’t already become a Certified Coach with GROW, this year would be the time to do so!   Through August 10 we're offering $100 OFF your CPC 5-required course package and $100 OFF your CPC application fee!  See details HERE.

     "Once you’ve done the mental work, there comes a point you have to throw yourself into the action and put your heart on the line. That means not only being brave, but being passionate towards yourself, your teammates and your opponents."
---Phil Jackson

 FOLLOW Dr. Lyn

"I help my colleagues increase their practice growth and success."
Lyn Kelley, Ph.D, MFT, CPC Certified Professional Coach

                THANK YOU for your business! It’s customers like YOU who make our business successful!  We want to give you the BEST, HIGHEST QUALITY courses, services, and customer service so let us know if there’s anything you think we can improve on!

All Courses FREE Shipping!
August 2026 Special Offer:
50% OFF our Popular C.E. Course!
Coaching for Detachment & Letting Go
10 C.E. Contact Hours -- now only $58.50!
See details and ordering HERE
growpublications@yahoo.com
*Not valid with any other offers

      

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Feature Article

By Lyn Kelley, Ph.D., CPC

  What is “Detached Concern”?
You Are Not Them
          For the first half of my life I never knew where other people ended and I began. I didn’t know what it meant to put myself first.  I almost always put other people ahead of myself.  I was “fused” to other people’s wants and needs.  I felt responsible for everyone.  This became magnified times a thousand when I had my own child.  We always speak in terms of “my daughter,” or “my son,” or “my husband,” or “my sister,” or "my client," etc. Yet these people are not “ours.”  They are their own separate entities.  The only thing that we own is ourselves.  We can choose to be in a relationship with whomever we wish, but we can never own them.
Why Detach?
          When I first became a therapist I didn’t understand detachment. I only understood attachment.  Why would I want to detach from people?  Especially people I love and care about?   It seemed like detachment meant not caring or loving others.  What I’ve learned is that detaching is a dichotomy.   When we detach emotionally, we actually are able to love more unconditionally.  Other people will feel more acceptance from us, and therefore will be able to relate to us in a healthier way.
          So many of us spend so much time enmeshed in other people’s problems, trying to solve or change them, that we don’t really know where we end and they begin.  Not reacting to people or situations that provoke us is not an easy skill to develop.   It takes practice and conviction that not reacting, not increasing the drama, doesn’t mean we don’t care.  On the contrary, we are freed to show genuine love and care only when we can detach from the knee-jerk need to fix, solve, rescue, or control.  Look, taking care of one life is difficult enough! People are difficult enough without adding their personal problems to yours! I’m here to make your life easier.
          Why should you detach from other people and their problems? Because it will give you freedom and peace. Here are some other great reasons:

To love without anguish
To have contentment
To feel empowered
To benefit others
To free you from heavy emotional burdens
To free you of responsibility
To free you from worry
To simplify your life
To manage your time and energy more efficiently
To be free from obsessive thoughts
To feel more connected to yourself and others
To release others to live their own lives
To increase your faith
To pay more attention to yourself
To take better care of yourself
To free up your time and energy to focus on your own best life
How to Be Compassionate Yet Detached
          Detachment is an acquired habit. It takes willingness, commitment and constant practice.  Detachment is a gift you give to yourself.   Attachment is imprisonment.  When you are emotionally attached to others and their problems, your life begins to revolve around them.  You lose yourself.  They hold you hostage.  Only when you detach do you keep yourself in tact.
          There is no one right way to detach.  Since each person has a different level of sensitivity and a different level of attachment to each person in their lives, it is impossible to create a “one-size-fits-all answer.   I will give you the best ways I have found.
          In order to detach you first have to get in touch with your feelings.  When you feel an “irk” in the pit of your stomach, this is a sign to pay attention to.  You will notice an uneasy feeling, or sensation, that something has hit a nerve.  When this happens, take a moment to notice it, and see if you can label it. You might think something like, “I don’t like hearing this,” or “I’m feeling distressed or upset or sad or angry,” or “I feel like I want to run away or lash out.”
          
          A helpful statement for me is, “Observe, don’t Absorb.”  As empaths, we often soak in other people’s problems into our beings like a sponge.  But we do not need to absorb their feelings into our beings.  We can listen to them intently, with understanding, while maintaining our emotional distance.  As Oprah once said, “The best defenses are emotional fences.” 
        I have found the best way for me to detach is to meditate.   When I feel I need to detach from someone or something I will do a specific detachment meditation.   I go to my quiet place and ask for detachment about this particular situation.  I ask for guidance from and my inner knowing.  After 15 or 20 minutes, I always know what to do next.   Sometimes it is best to do nothing.  Sometimes the problem works itself through without any action on my part.
          Sometimes these mantras are very helpful to think to myself when I am listening to OPP’s.   Here are some examples of mantras that may be helpful for you:

NMP (Not My Problem)
Shake it off
I can choose peace instead of this
I choose peace
Let go and let God
One day at a time
This too shall pass
It doesn’t matter
All is well
Deflect, detach, de-sensitize
Observe, don't absorb
Can’t touch this!

For more information get Dr. Lyn's C.E. Course
"Coaching for Detachment & Letting Go"
50% OFF for the month of August!  Now only $48.50
See info and ordering HERE.
Includes Manual and Quiz for 10 CE Contact Hours (and Certificate of Completion) 
      
“Letting go gives us freedom,
and freedom is the only condition for happiness."
---Thich Nhat Hanh 

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August 2026 SPECIAL OFFER
50% OFF Dr. Lyn's NEWEST C.E. Course:
"Coaching for Detachment and Letting Go"
10 C.E. Contact Hours -- Now only $48.50
See details and ordering HERE
See full course listing on our website HERE

GROW is an Approved Continuing Education Provider for most State Licensing Boards 
GROW is an Approved Coach Training Organization for the CCE:
BCC (Board Certified Coaches), and NCC (National Certified Counselors)
HURRY -- Offer only good through August 2026! 
 Questions?  Contact Lyn Kelley, Ph.D., MFT, CPC growpublications@yahoo.com 
or call 858-837-1412 

LYN'S MARKETING CONSULTATION

Dear Colleagues,
        Let me help you make 2026 your SIX-FIGURE INCOME YEAR!!! I am available to you for telephone and e-mail consultation on any area of practice building.  You own a BUSINESS.  If you want to be successful, you have to do what other successful people do. They KNOW "it takes money to make money."  
        Become a member of GPCCA (GROW Professional Coach & Counselor Association.)  I'm certain I will save you MUCH MORE than the membership fee by helping you NOT DO what I know DOESN'T work, and DO what I know DOES WORK! Contact me at growpublications@yahoo.com
        Thanks!
        Lyn

See more info about Lyn's practice building consultations HERE

INSPIRATIONAL TIP OF THE MONTH

         You can be confident in achieving your goals, even in the face of uncertainty.

        You can remain calm and grounded, even in the midst of life’s toughest storms.

        Whether it’s your confidence or your calm, it comes from within; it’s not dependent on external circumstances.

        Whenever fear arises or you find yourself in uncertain or chaotic situations, remind yourself of your inherent strength.

        It’s already a part of who you are.

        Let it ground you.

        Take your next step with unwavering trust.

Hire a Virtual Assistant!

         Karisse Lyka Valdez-Chua is a Registered Psychometrician and Mental Health Care Virtual Assistant who specializes in supporting mental health professionals and clinics with administrative operations, psychometric testing coordination, and client management. She has experience assisting private mental health practices with scheduling, client intake processes, inquiry handling, and coordination.

         Her goal is to help therapists and mental health professionals focus more on their clients by providing reliable, organized, and compassionate virtual administrative support.

         Thank you again for this opportunity. Please feel free to let me know if you need any additional information.

         Warm Regards,

         Karisse Lyka Valdez-Chua

Mental Health Care Virtual Assistant | Client Care & Psychometric Testing Coordinator | Social Media Manager | Administrative Officer | Social Welfare Assistant

Email: karisselykavaldez29@gmail.com

Mobile/WhatsApp no.: +639-128-549-167

Address: Victoria, Tarlac City, 2313, Philippines

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BECOME A CERTIFIED PROFESSIONAL COACH!

Click HERE for full information and application for GROW’s CPC Program -- the fastest, easiest, least expensive, highest quality Certified Coach Program available!  Call me for your FREE 20 minute phone consult if you'd like to know more about it.  Lyn: 858-837-1412 growpublications@yahoo.com
**$200 OFF through August 10!**

 See details HERE

See Dr. Lyn's YouTube Video:
"THERAPIST to COACH:  My Story"

FREE C.E. Course!

Everything You Need to Know About Becoming a Life, Wellness, Career, or Business Coach
By Lyn Kelley, Ph.D., MFT, CPC
5 C.E. Contact Hours -- Includes 53-page manual, quiz, and
Certificate of Completion

See details and ordering HERE

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Congratulate our New GROW CPC's!

Robert L. Johnson, CMHP, CPC #2358

Cambridge, MD
Robert.Lance.Johnson@gmail.com

561-239-1822

www.SafeDoveRetreat.com

Specialties:  Life Coaching, Family Coaching, College Anxiety

Mission Statement:  "I help high functioning people, ranging anywhere from corporate leaders to clinicians to other professionals to the "man on the street," clarify their goals, develop self-awareness, and overcome barriers."

Essay:     
        "When I began my career, I hadn’t envisioned that my direction would be in coaching. As a clinician with a theoretical foundation in Psychodynamics, Rogerian, and Rational Emotive Behavioral Therapy modalities, it was a seamless transition into clinical, executive, and professional coaching.  My goal was to guide my clients to profound behavioral changes, elevate organizational performance, and find deep personal fulfillment.
      I truly believe this specialized approach and blend of coaching allow me as a professional to act as a trusted confidant, helping clients to unlock their potential and sustainably manage their environment.  As a professional coach, I help high functioning/potential clients, ranging anywhere from corporate leaders to clinicians to other professionals to the “man on the street”, clarify their goals, develop self-awareness, and overcome cognitive or behavioral barriers.
      Also, as a clinician, I want to share my accumulated wisdom, effectively becoming the mentor or advisor they once wished they had. Clinical coaching is always individualized. It involves each client going beyond the four walls of a therapist’s office and engaging in clinical skill-building work. It can happen in real time and is goal and actions focused. Further, areas of focus can encompass managing activities of daily living (ADLS); executive functioning skills (time management, organization, future planning, goal setting); DBT skills (practice and application); life skills (cooking, cleaning, budgeting); and case management (help connecting clients to supportive resources). 
      Coaches with clinical or psychology backgrounds, such as myself, are highly valued in emotionally charged work environments (such as healthcare and high-stress corporate roles) because we can address human psychological experiences. Rather than solely focusing on business metrics, clinically informed coaches are uniquely equipped to help leaders build resilience, manage stress and prevent professional burnout. By coaching leaders, professional coaches help entire organizations foster cultures of collaboration, innovation, and sustainable success. 
     Coaching translates directly into improved decision-making, better communication, and elevated team performance. Clinical directors and C-suite executives often lack neutral peers with whom they can discuss sensitive issues. As a coach, I find fulfillment in being that impartial, confidential sounding board. Clinical, Executive, and Professional coaching offer a high level of autonomy, flexible scheduling, and the opportunity to build a deeply rewarding independent practice."

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